Today I’m thankful for not having my faith tested.
During the sermon tonight our Deacon discussed people who’ve had faith but then lost it during a very difficult situation. They felt like God didn’t listen to them, God didn’t respond to their prayers, God didn’t help them, or God abandoned them. I’m sad to admit that as he was telling this story I immediately got on my “holier than thou” horse and thought “that’s crazy, I wouldn’t have lost my faith if it were me!”
That thought was what sparked my thankfulness today.
I’ve really never had my faith tested. Sure, I’ve had issues and challenges. Middle and high schools were both tough at times. I’ve lost grandparents. I’ve struggled through personal issues, some due to mistakes I’ve made and others as a result of a poor attitude. My parents getting divorced was pretty tough, and Gavin having a seizure was scary as hell for a short time. All that said, I haven’t struggled through a life threatening illness or had an injury that changed the course of my life. Both of my parents are both alive and in very excellent health. My close family is alive and totally healthy. Sure, I’ve had struggles, but all in all, I’ve been incredibly fortunate.
Who knows how my faith will hold up when the first incredibly tough situation hits? Who am I to judge others for losing their faith when I’m not exactly sure how mine will hold up when push comes to shove? While I think I’m building a strong foundation, who knows how I’ll weather a big storm?
So while I’m disappointed in myself for thinking what I did, I’m kind of glad I did. It helped me realize how incredibly fortunate I am to not know how I’ll hold up because I haven’t been there yet. And I am incredibly thankful for that.