Today I am thankful for “can’t.”
What an insidious little word. As my boys will tell you, it is one of the two worst swear words in the Kreiling house. The C word and the F word… Can’t and Fair. They are both to be unspoken in this house. “Can’t” is used by lazy people who don’t want to take time to think of how. “Can’t” is used by the weak willed so they don’t have to do the work and make the sacrifices needed to accomplish something.
This morning I woke up as Becky was going out for a run. I immediately thought it would be an awesome day to go for a run. Not just any run, but a 10 mile run. And that’s when I heard this dialogue in my head:
“No I can’t. I can’t because I’m tired. I can’t because I’m too old. I can’t because I am fat. I can’t because I am out of shape. I can’t because it is too cold. I can’t because I haven’t been training. I can’t because I haven’t run more than 4 miles in an entire week in the past 3 months. I can’t because I am lazy. I can’t because I don’t have time. I can’t because I can’t even run a mile. I can’t because even if I try I’ll come up with excuses.”
And then something popped in my head and I had a memory from just a couple of days ago. Gavin and I were talking and he brought up some crazy idea and I told him it wasn’t possible. “Dad, anything’s possible, you just have to think about how to do it. You always tell me that.” Little bugger was right. What is it about the word “Can’t” that gets me so fired up? It’s the word that’s pretty much guaranteed to set off a reaction in me.
So I looked at my old buddy “Can’t” and told him, “Hey ‘Can’t’, how’s about you and I go out back behind the wood shed and I teach you a little lesson? I’ve got a length of rubber hose I’d like to introduce you to.” “Can’t” took me up on the offer and accepted the challenge.
It felt like an old times duel. “Can’t” and Mike stand with our backs to each other, take 10 paces and fire. Last man standing wins. Guess who was still running as we hit mile #10?
Don’t get me wrong, I hurt bad after that run. I know it wasn’t the healthiest thing in the world to do. I really should have been training and building my way up to it. I’ll be paying for it for a couple of days. While I had a choice, I could have quit earlier, there really never was a choice. I had to do this. I had to beat “Can’t.” Once it starts to worm its evil ways into my life I have a tough time getting it out. I had to beat can’t.
Really, it is one of the reasons I started this blog when I turned 39. I could feel myself starting to sink and I needed a way to get back out of it. There were two goals I set for myself to accomplish so when I turn 40 I crush it, I don’t turn into it. The first was to be happier and that’s where the blog comes in. Being thankful for what we have is a sure fire way to increase our happiness. The second was to be in the best physical condition of my life at 40. This one has been left at the way side and when I think of it I keep thinking:
“I can’t, I don’t have time. I can’t, I have to focus on her things. I can’t, I have other priorities.”
Today is a pivot point for me. This is when I stop using “Can’t” as my excuse. So I’ve decided to write my buddy “Can’t” a little letter.
I beat you like the red headed stepchild you are today. I will continue to dominate you. There is no place for you in my life. Good riddance you evil little bastard.